Today I went to Subway to get lunch and I got a cookie because from the looks of the cookies on the display case, deliciousness was to ensue. However, the dude that rang me up picked up the crumbliest, browniest, stupid crunchy cookie and put it in my bag before I had time to say anything. So I kind of just grumbled to myself about wanting a different cookie and walked out to my car. As far as cookies go, if they are supposed to be fresh baked and delicious, they should also be undercooked and doughy, because crispy cookies that are almost black are nasty. Who wants to eat a cookie that could be used for some sort of housing material? Not me.
I don't really care about the risk of food poisoning because at least while my insides are turning into mush and I am dying from all sorts of organ failure I'll be able to look up and say, "Hey, I really enjoyed that cookie."
Not that I really expected today to be all that great anyway. I woke up this morning to my dog in my bed making really awesome harfing sounds right by my ear. Sweet. So I pick her up and bring her to her little kennel and litter box and on the way there she pukes right into my hand, and it was easily the nastiest thing ever. So I'm trying not to gag, bring her to her kennel, and get the nasty puke off my hand all at the same time, and my dog in a moment of sheer stupidity starts LICKING HER PUKE OFF MY HAND trying to eat it again and at that moment I run into the bathroom and throw up. If she wants to puke on the floor, fine. I don't care. I'll clean it up and smile. Just don't eat it. Gross.
2 comments:
1. crunchy cookies are full of fail. in fact, i don't understand baking cookies, at all. the plain dough is just so much better.
2. that's really nasty. hopefully it wasn't caused by the sour ball...because it's not worth it if it makes Penelope puke, but that sounded really funny.
Hey, if I had my way, the dogs would always clean up their puke. It's very helpful.
Did I ever tell you about all the ewes sneezing on me in the milking parlour, and then they'd eat the snot off my pants? It was awesome.
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